You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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