Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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