I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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