Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
