I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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