i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
