You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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