He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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