Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
