hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
