dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
