Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
