you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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