One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
