I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
