why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
