Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
