Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
