my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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