We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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