is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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