Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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