There is no way he is gay with that hair.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
