Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Where is the hickey?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
