so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
