So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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