The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
