Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
