I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
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Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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