I think I died a long time ago.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
