I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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