I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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