Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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