He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
