Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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