some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I did not marry a roomba.
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