Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
