Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i think i have two assholes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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