My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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