walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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