I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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