is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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