how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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