Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
