is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
