My balls are so social today.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
