I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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