I love black thongs
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
