dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
