I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
drinking out of a sandbucket again
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
