I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
