Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
