Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
