just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
