i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
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My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's rum buckets o'clock
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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