mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize