i just google imaged poop.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
