My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
