I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
