remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
