oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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