If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
