Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
