She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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