She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
