just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
