it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
