One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
