She said her name was "party"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
