you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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