Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
