i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
