I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
