he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
