I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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