There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
