i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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